My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
