If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
