do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
