hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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