You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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