Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
