doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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