whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
