spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize