Nicole vs. Life
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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