I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
