I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
