i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
im six kinds of drunk right now
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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