I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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