I can text with my tongue
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
