i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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