I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
