He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
