Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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