Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
