And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
