with your own penis?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
