this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
