make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize