sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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