i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
