"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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