If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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