Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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