You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
