According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
