They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
