i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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