are you still at the devil's house?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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