ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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