I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
