I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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