Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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