Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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