i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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