The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary