its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
