You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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