I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
