he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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