WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
