so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
