Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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