that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
