OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
