Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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