we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
