he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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