**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
