I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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