that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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