so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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