I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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