Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
