sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
