He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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